The reason there was such a big gap between seasons two and three of Two Jasperjohns is because creator Vinny Lopez was writing/directing this short, Scholarship. Now it’s finally online, fully watchable, and filled with about 89% less barf-moments than 2J.
Hey everyone – the Kickstopper is coming to a close. We just want to thank you for the incredible amounts of no-effort you gave in giving us nothing. While we have yet to receive a call from Tina Fey or a person impersonating Tina Fey, we have literally endless amounts of foundless hope that success is just lost on the way to our windowless basement apartment in Sheepshead Bay!
Anyway, as one last incentive, we offer you the Yummy Bag, which we were able to buy on deep discount from The United Arab Emirates! Here’s what it says on the packaging:
"We live in America. and America was built upon one dream – hey, what’s that? What are you eating? Can I have some? What about just a bite? Half bite? Eighth. You won’t even notice it. That one chocolate chip fell off, I’m just gonna get that off the floor and –
Yummy Bag! Everybody on this planet who is also in America has the same problem – we all want to look better and lose weight without changing one part of our lives, or sacrificing a single over-serving of our carb-injected-butter-slops. And now you don’t have to. Introducing Yummy Bag, the only diet-aid that promises you will be taking in literally ZERO calories.
The Two Jasperjohns Kickstopper (http://youtu.be/z3_fUhvOZis) is doing great everyone! Just wanted to announce our first reward for those contributing at the zero dollar level: A Two Jasperjohns embroidered Baby Duffle! Featuring a custom Two Jasperjohns logo, this… we’ll just let the catalog copy speak for itself.
"Sick of wearing those tiresome front-carriers and staring directly into your baby’s dead eyes as you try to walk up an escalator? Sick of your baby getting all the attention in the stroller while you struggle to get one single postpartum affair going with someone, anyone from your play group? Well keep your friends close, and your babies closer with the Baby Duffle!
The Kickstopper is off to a great start! Everyone, we just want to thank you so much for your support and likes (just kidding, this plane flies on reblogs, likes are only like getting delicious peanuts during a flight delay). We’ve made nothing and no one has given us a dollar! We’ve got some great incentives coming up so please keep saving your dollars and keeping them in your pocket. More details soon…
Oh Tumblr, we finally did it. We did a KICKSTOPPER! Please, pass this around, and remember: the less you give, the more you can not-fund Two Jasperjohns.
Submission by Rich C. for our ongoing column “Jasperjohns through the ages.”
And all we got was this awesome interview.
Did you know that there are actually two music videos in this season of Two Jasperjohns? (No you didn’t, I have seen the hits on these episodes SO DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO US LIKE THAT TIME YOU SAID THAT YOU WEREN’T HAVING A PARTY AND NOT INVITING US, YOU WERE JUST INVITING 68 PEOPLE OVER TO “GET MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR FLEX SPENDING ACCOUNT.”)