Hey everyone – the Kickstopper is coming to a close. We just want to thank you for the incredible amounts of no-effort you gave in giving us nothing. While we have yet to receive a call from Tina Fey or a person impersonating Tina Fey, we have literally endless amounts of foundless hope that success is just lost on the way to our windowless basement apartment in Sheepshead Bay!
Anyway, as one last incentive, we offer you the Yummy Bag, which we were able to buy on deep discount from The United Arab Emirates! Here’s what it says on the packaging:
"We live in America. and America was built upon one dream – hey, what’s that? What are you eating? Can I have some? What about just a bite? Half bite? Eighth. You won’t even notice it. That one chocolate chip fell off, I’m just gonna get that off the floor and –
Yummy Bag! Everybody on this planet who is also in America has the same problem – we all want to look better and lose weight without changing one part of our lives, or sacrificing a single over-serving of our carb-injected-butter-slops. And now you don’t have to. Introducing Yummy Bag, the only diet-aid that promises you will be taking in literally ZERO calories.